bless me father.

Bless me Father for I have sinned,
it has been a week since my last confession.
I didn’t expect to be back so soon,
But I’ve once again fallen to masturbation.

It wasn’t a girl, and no Father, it wasn’t a guy,
that sparked a lustful appetite.
It wasn’t a pop-up, or a movie scene,
years of porn have desensitised my sight.

But Padre, it’s a void I cannot fill,
an emptiness I don’t know how to heal.
My heart just aches, I just need to feel,
something physical, something real.

And I know I’m restless till I rest in him,
and I know where to offer up all my sin.
I’ve almost filled my heart’s God-shaped hole,
but I think the loneliness has taken its toll.

After every fall I tell myself,
“Better to suffer in virtue than to die in sin.”
But in a couple of days reality sets back in,
I’m still miserable and alone, and I let Satan win.

The images do nothing, I stare blankly at a screen,
loading up a site is nothing more than routine.
My reflection stares back at me and I stare back at it,
I brush it off knowing everyone’s a hypocrite.

The climax is regretted before it even ends,
My soul cries Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,
wishing I never began.
I wash myself off as Pilate washed off his hands,
and once again think of how I can make amends.

Bless me Father for I have sinned,
it has been a week since my last confession.
I didn’t expect to be back so soon,
But I’ve once again fallen to masturbation.

Father gives me the absolution,
tells me to go, my sins are forgiven.
I receive Christ in a state of grace,
I walk out the Chapel, smile on my face.

I don’t know how to fix my broken soul,
perhaps it’s all part of a plan, only God could know.
I guess until you stop trying, the Devil doesn’t win.
“Better to die in virtue than to live in sin.”

Some call me deluded, some might even say “unsaved”,
but I trust the Church Fathers over 95 theses pinned.
So to my final moments, and my dying breath.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

It has been, too long since my last confession.

I’ve placed my hope in the world
and its erroneous ways,
put the fate of my flesh over the fate of my soul.
For my temptations of the flesh are not of carnal lust,
but for fulfilment in a world that will not last.

I’m on my knees, I’m at a loss,
I raise my eyes up to the cross.
Above the screen, my Saviour hangs,
in pain far beyond my earthly pangs.

Lord I come before you, it won’t be the last time.
I’m a hard one to teach, me and my stubborn mind.
But when it comes to my sort,
you know exactly what makes us tick.
A little trial by fire ought to do the trick.

And so trials you have given me,
and more you’ll keep giving,
but I now know why my soul is always thirsting.

You told the woman at the well,
and when you fed the five thousand,
I guess I thought I knew, when I never truly listened.

I wanted something real,
wanted something I could feel,
So you gave me all of that,
and even something that will heal.

The true presence of our Saviour,
our Lord Jesus Christ,
in physical bread and wine,
and promised me eternal life.

Perhaps I never got it, I’ve only just begun.
I’ve barely even started and I’m always on the run.

For if you let this broken world
tell you how you should behave,
it’s hard to focus on what you
stand to gain beyond the grave.

For eternity we were created,
but by sin we were made flesh.

So flesh you became, new Adam through new Eve.
You triumphed over sin, death, where is your sting?
A truth so easy to be told, but harder to believe.

We all want something real, something we can feel,
but pleasures of the flesh don’t heal the heartache.
So you gave us something real, something we can feel.
It’s more than a symbol, it’s John 6:35-58.

“Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.” John 6:35

I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died.” John 6:48-49

“The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” John 6:53-58